Connection to my mother when I experience ‘death’ of being born and come out of her nurturing womb. I cannot survive without connection. Without love. I need it from my father to see me, acknowledge me, recognise me as a sovereign being. I need it from other beings too. I want to be cuddled and loved and seen in everything that I AM. I want to love.
Then the programming & trauma happens through our parents. They are just being ‘themselves’. You are not fully accepted as you are with your needs and cravings and demands anymore. Your emotional outbursts are too much for your parents, it makes them feel uncomfortable due to their disconnection from their inner landscape and their bodies. You popped into this world as a soul that was incarnated for many many lifetimes and again you find yourself in a helpless and depending situation. You NEED your caregivers to love you, take care of you, acknowledge you in your pain and joy, to mirror you back. Otherwise, you might feel you don’t really exist. Indeed, we are very vulnerable beings when we are born. And due to a conditional love of our parents, we start to change our ways of being, so that we can survive and get what we need. Love, approval, care etc. We start to cut piece by piece of our beingness off to get our needs met. We sacrifice our true ways of being (authenticity) for a connection (attachment). We start to lose our uniqueness, our sense of self, our freedom to just be so that we get along with others. So that we don’t find ourselves alone and abandoned. Without love and connection, we cannot possibly survive.
This is the first trap of disconnection of a human being form our own Spirit and our authentic energy. We disconnect from our Source of Life within, slowly, piece by piece and when we are adults we are well adjusted to external demands and structures of society. Oblivious to who we really are. Our Dreams, our Truth, our Desires long forgotten. We bought into the external story of what this Life is about, how to live it, what does success mean and how to fit in. Again, compromising yourself to connect with others. To not feel alone and abandoned.
Abandonment is a mother wound in all of us. The one that frightens us the most. If we are not in connection with other humans, who are we?
Majority of people on the planet are trained to be codependent to other people, to never be free and to not be connected to their own internal Source of wisdom, their own Spirit. I can easily say, the society we live in these days, on this level of consciousness, is highly co-dependent aka disconnected from the Spirit. Dark Age.
Awakening of humanity is happening, we can witness it daily how things change with such speed. When we become adult and when going through an awakening, the old ways of being don’t work anymore. We can feel the shackles, the bondage that is constricting us from being truly alive and free in our expression and ways we live our Life. There are so many programs we give power to. So many inner suppressors – negative through patterns – that work solely to suppress your own desire. Your Desire for Life! For expression of you Spirit and who you are at the core. And this is painful to witness the fire of Life, ideas, creativity and so much inner potential being suppressed by your own monkey mind. Of course, this suppression came from others first and started way back when you were a baby.
When you go through life and witness yourself not living the life you would actually want, one needs to sacrifice connection with others (for a while) to be authentic and true to yourself. It cannot go any other way. Relationships that you created while suppressing yourself, your own energy and voice, cannot exist when you start to awaken the Being that you actually are. You will have to risk losing people to get your authenticity and sovereignty back. You need to connect deeply with yourself, with your own Spirit, with Kingdom within, to strengthen yourself to an extent, where you are able to lose people for the sake of resurrecting yourself, your Spirit, your truth. Old shackles of codependency, narcissism or any other power dynamic you used to play within relationships need to go. It’s time for you to remember who you truly are.
What usually happens in between is that there will be a period of time where the old bonds will go and there is going to be a space where you will find yourself alone and ‘abandoned’. It is an important time for you to truly connect deeply with yourself, with your true being, your purpose and start a new journey. You and the One.
This transition can be scary as we need connections, we need to feel loved and we need to love. While at the same time we want to be authentic and true. And the burden of not being authentic can be very painful, so we have to risk to lose connections in order to get ourselves back.
Both connections and authenticity are our biggest needs. And we can have both. We want to belong. To our parents first, our friends, our colleagues….. if the desire is burning in the chest of the being, the utter desire is, to belong to God. Once you have the courage to be true to who you are, to be truly authentic and honour the Spirit in you, you are going to attract people that are on a similar journey. A Journey back to self, to truth and purpose. A journey of remembrance of who we already once were. On this journey you find new connections, you create deep relationships with people, where you can fully be yourself. People see you, acknowledge you, love you, support you, without trying to mould you in the box of who they need you to be for them. You are free. To be. You. And the same you provide to others.
This Journey is Sacred. And no other being can give us what we already have within, once we deeply connect to our own Divinity.
Connection to Divine is what we are looking for knowingly or unknowingly all of our Life. In other people, experiences, material possessions… It is funny, we can go around the world to finally realise that what we are seeking is within. And it is there. Waiting for you to recognise it. Connect to it. LIVE IT.
Inspired by a short video by Dr Gabor Mate: