Yesterday I wrote a short post on being a sexual being and not being ashamed of it anymore and was surprised by a massive response of people. I was inspired to go deeper with it. There is much more to write and contemplate on it, like sexuality in connection to Ascension, to Healing of trauma, to our Feeling Alive and Being electric/magnetic, to Being Sovereign in our Energy, to our Divinity, to our Pleasure and Bliss etc. Down below are snippets of all of the above joined together.
Due to sexual abuse, I was not only ashamed of myself but was also ashamed of my sexuality. Without an ounce of judgment of who I was back then (which came with deep feeling and understanding the pain I was going through), I was not behaving healthy in my own sexuality. I had a period of being very promiscuous, I had periods of living like a monk too, totally denying it. It was not hard, I was disconnected from my body in both instances and how I felt deep within. Looking back, I really didn’t love myself. My Soul nor My Body.
Lower natures of sex are what we are being sold in this world from an early age. At least when I was young, there was no sexual education, my parents although they cared about me, they didn’t explain much about sexuality to me or my sister. That’s how it was. Many of us were being raised up with pornography that was available either in our homes or in schools (schoolmates bringing magazines with awkward and sometimes painful pictures to look at). Let’s not pretend, this world doesn’t want you to know about your sacred nature. We don’t hear much about the higher nature of our sex. Your sex, it is sacred. While it is so misused, used, abused and shamed in this society.
You being sexual is not wrong. You feeling arousal due to your own feelings, clothes that you feel on your skin, coz the wind caresses your skin, coz you see something beautiful and exciting, coz you see a beautiful flower, a beautiful human being….this is all innocent and pure. NOTHING wrong with that.
What is wrong is that we have been brainwashed about our sexuality and calling it a lower nature. It is a lower nature if it is distorted and plays as an extension of our ego. If we over-indulge in it and are totally disconnected from the heart, it can harm us and our own spiritual energies within. If we suppress or deny it as many religious institutions demand from its representatives, in many instances, it doesn’t work and it gets perverted and is totally abusive. I’ve seen documentaries of sexually abusive Catholic priests that rather than being taken out of religious institutions not to harm people further, are just being sent to another part of the world, to continue their abusive behaviour. This is deliberately done. Priests are suffering due to denying their own nature and then it comes out in distorted and unhealthy ways. And children on the other side deeply suffer due to immense harm done to them. That’s how suffering is being perpetuated.
This society is highly abusive due to our sex not being connected to our Soul. God within. The Soul is missing from the equation. Our marriages don’t work coz we try to be saints while we are also sexual, or we give in to sexual nature and totally being disconnected from the Heart/Soul. The Love. If we are sexual without the Heart, we hurt, we are abusive, we take for our selfish temporary enjoyment. We hurt ourselves and the other.
We are called for balance, to connect our heart and our sex, so that we don’t play out our lower natures any longer (lower three chakras, desire, lust, promiscuity…) and can raise our consciousness and sexuality to their higher nature. To return to the sacredness of who we are.
We knew about it well when we were children. We were vulnerable, our bodies still fully open and relaxed, and we were excited by everything in this world. If our sex got aroused, how beautiful was that, to get excited by life and my own body. This is natural, to feel these energies freely within. Innocence. Beauty. Openness. First sexual excitation of my body when I accidentally touched my sex. How beautiful can feel to exist in this body, how pleasurable, loving and safe…
And then all this is taken away when our parents, not knowingly of the effect it’s going to make when we first started to explore our sexuality, our sexual organs, they tell us to stop it, not touch ourselves, that these parts of our body are ugly. Is this thought really yours mom, is it? Dad, who told you this? Where did you get these thoughts from? Why one would be ashamed of your sexual parts? It’s part of who I am.
Religion? Authorities that want us to be busy 24/7, not to even dive within, not to get to know our true nature, not to have time for ourselves and one another, not to make deep deep love to each other. Too busy. Too much work. Too much stress to relax your body. So many women and men not being able to even conceive a baby. Something so natural as having a baby? Why so many people struggle?
There is a lot of sexual abuse happening in this world. I know of many women including myself and of few men, who went through this horrendous experience where your body, soul, voice, your whole being shuts down and you just want to annihilate yourself due to feeling so ugly and dirty, you feel so broken and abandoned, that you start to believe that God himself abandoned you. You carry deep-seated rage for God not showing up for you. Therefore nothing in your life works until you heal. It can’t. Coz you create from the template of being abandoned, forgotten, forsaken…. Life doesn’t want you here. You sit in this dark abyss of deep deep shame and despair.
And what I see is the cause of so much sexual abuse we are witnessing during these days? Coz we operate on our ego level, lower three chakras, to have sex to release the tension, to die if only just for a moment and surrender the control of the mind just for that split of a second. Due to repression of these powerful energies. Due to unresolved hurt, anger, rage within. Due to not being free. Due to hyperdimensional forces being at play. Due to body snatching that is happening when Soul is not embodied. Disconnection from Heart as a portal to our Soul is what is missing. Both sexes need to bring these two together in balance again, so they work in unison. So that sex follows the heart rather than having dominion on its own.
Remember, we are Divine. Already. Right here. Right NOW. WE just forgot about it. We are in this hypnotic trance of forgetfulness, coz we trusted others more than ourselves. We trust more the program than our inner visions, knowing and dreams. Coz we still participate in master-slave dynamics. Coz we give consent to forces that are against Life, that can only work with our permission. Coz we still don’t know who we are. Coz we are not connected to our own Soul/Sol within. Coz we still don’t know that Kingdom is ours. It is within. Not out there. It was never out there. Come back home. To yourself. Your own body. And how do you feel within. Heal your wounds, call for truth in your consciousness, may it get illuminated by higher energies. May we see the truth of this reality. The trap of the Matrix. A trap for our Soul/Sol. A Trap for our consciousness.
We are on different parts of our journey home. We are here to express our Soul, to know it, live it, share it, fulfil it. Every Desire is ultimately a Desire for God. Desire is what we should not forget about. It is this force that moves everything in Life. Desire is the Fuel. It moves us along the Journey. Beyond our ego desires, our real Desires are to Love, to be Loved, cherished, heard, welcomed, seen, respected, fulfilled by Divine, in connection to everything in existence, to Create, to Give of ourselves, to express ourselves …
Majority of our lives we are driven by somebody else’s desires, desires that this world projected on us. Our Soul will never be fulfilled with the desires of this world, they are only temporary. Once you build your life in the Matrix and still feel empty, Life is calling you to go on a deeper quest of what is this all about. What is this Life about. What are you about. Who are you truly, if not your partner, job, children, success…!? What is your true Desire? ……. a Quest that takes people to Desiring God more than anything. Pure Devotion. To Him. To Her. Coz all the rest was tastless. It didn’t give meaning. It didn’t feed the Soul.
We are called to dive within and connect to the Sacred. Only through getting to know who we are and us living our highest truth, only then one can feel fulfilled. To know the Kingdom within and live from that space is what we are all yearning for.
Sexual energy can help us to go there, one that is not played out. One that is not in service to the Ego. One that heals and gets us free of programming and shame. One that takes us beyond codependency, narcissism, victimhood, people-pleasing, control, manipulation, possession…. A sovereign feeling of your own sexual, sensual nature, your own Life Force, that wants to create through us or/and this energy being shared with the other being on the path can be a path to Union with Divine.
The more we heal our sexuality, the more we enter a higher nature of it, the sacredness of it. Where our sexual and sensual energies can flow freely through our bodies, make us feel good, help us heal, nourishing our nervous systems, our organs, our creativity, our connection to ourselves and others. What we feel here is our true essence. Our own pulsating Life Force. Freedom of Being. Connection to Divine. Being given back the power that was with you when you were a child. Being given back your Innocence that was taken away from you. To make love from that space is a completely new story of humanity. One that we are entering into. Using sexual energy to procreate in deep reverence, love and respect for one another, for Life. How beautiful it is for two beings who are doing the inner work and are connected to their Soul, to come together and share the Sacred. In Full Presence. Of both. In the Presence of God.
Sexual energy can be transmuted for spiritual reasons (primary goal is not to orgasm, but conservation of energy/tantra) and connection to Divine, we can use it for deep healing of our bodies and nervous system and for the infinite potential in creative endeavours. You choose. It can help you with your spiritual growth, ascension and connection to Divine (Surrendering to Love). All through your own body. Through your own Divine Temple. There are no Temples outside of Yourself.
Only then can the old story of feeling afraid, not present, unsafe within your own body be changed by openness, relaxation, feeling good in your vessel that carries this magnificent Soul on its journey.
Full immersion with our body is where the Enlightenment happens. Not denying one bit of who we are. Full acceptance. Surrendering to Divine Love through the density of being a Human rather than dissociating from the body and ascending to high heavens. I’ve been there, it doesn’t work.
We NEED to feel our Pain. We need to feel our Anger. We need to feel our Rage. This is our Path to Freedom. Our path to our Divine Power (new definition needed for this one) We need to feel Ourselves to stop cooperating with forces that harm us, that hurt us, that don’t want to see us in our Glory. We NEED TO FEEL to keep our Heart soft and compassionate. To understand the pain of others. That’s what is keeping us Alive. And connected to our Soul and collective Consciousness. To the whole Creation. Otherwise we fall asleep and get lost within a program of who we are told we are. Let’s not allow that.
Feeling good and pleasurable in our bodies is our birthright.
We were born innocent and sexual.
We are supposed to celebrate this, and no longer shame it.
~ Eva Tashi ~
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