Unless you had a really good upbringing and your parents truly valued you, nurtured you and loved you and told you how beautiful creature you are and that you should never change your natural ways, then most probably you will know that. Whilst majority of people of this world, don’t fall into this category. I speak to those. I used to be one of them.
My Life was for so long filled with self-hatred and so much shame and guilt, I was putting myself down in front of others, how stupid I am and how I don’t know about things coz others knew better, millions of times I denied myself and didn’t trust myself and put myself below the ground. Just so everybody else could thrive and feel good while stepping all over me. It is so easy to wish well for others, to support them and give them my all for them to be strong and happy and their Spirits fulfilled. So hard to wish the same for myself. The unfortunate thing is, I allowed it all. I didn’t know better. I thought I am broken beyond repair.
Trauma. So many of us experienced it in various ways and that’s where we created so many unsupportive beliefs about ourselves, that our daily lives are filled with inner critic putting us down (coz the programme continues in your own mind after it came from others people’s minds infected with archon virus), hatred and anger towards self, you’re not enough, you fucked up this and that and look how everybody else has their shit together, thoughts of ‘i must be evil’, ‘I’m so bad, better not talk to people so that they don’t see how bad you are’, ‘I’m better off dead’ and so on…all these infused with feelings of inadequacy, feelings of utter shame and feeling guilty for everything that goes wrong in your own and other people’s lives. Incapable Weakling. Look at you. How horrible you are. It’s all your fault, look how bad you are….. I’ve been there. At times still am. This programme is a direct flow of adversary (non-Divine) force that doesn’t want you or even allows you, to know who you are at your Core. That you’re Beautiful and Divine. And Truly Powerful and a Sentient & Sensitive Being with so many dormant abilities waiting to be activated, being a part of the Whole of Our Creation. Everything in this existence is Connected. Like wirings within your Nervous system, all connected and depending on each other. How beautiful is that? This programme has got you when you are dissociated, not integrated, unhealed, every time you want to change and transform or make a leap, every time things will get triggered. KNOW this is NOT YOU.
You are SACRED.
He made you by his own image. If you were good enough for the Creator, you are more than good for anyone else. Remember that. Remember Eva.
Back to Trauma. It really takes some time, to unknot traumatic knots within and feel every current of pain, sorrow that needs to be acknowledged and felt and compassion that sips through from the other side, and to feel every different energy frequency such as anger and rage. Yes, rage! And boredom and loneliness. Such Loneliness within. Emptiness too. So much is stored in our energetical bodies. Just to learn how to relax your tired body due to PTSD and general constrictiveness in which you existed for decades is a big step. And to Love your Womb and be with Her. So Painful, yet So Beautiful.
It’s quite a work to do. Depending on how severely the trauma was, depends the amount of time your healing will take. Last year I thought I have it all, I’ve done an extreme amount of inner work, every day full-on for few months and for the first time in my Life besides my awakening, I experienced true freedom, the need not to shrink for anyone anymore, immense expansion, so much Love in my heart I could embrace the whole Universe and heal everyone with it, for the first time in my Life I felt powerful and I felt it is time to stop hiding who I truly am and felt so ready to start fulfilling what I came here to do. True Surrender to Divine. It felt Beautiful. It felt Humbling. It felt I’m receiving the brightest Light right into my Heart from the Highest One. For the first time in my Life, I experienced my own Divinity.
Nothing can beat that.
Until I manifested my own downfall through another narcissistic relationship. I fell from Grace. Another cycle into the dark abyss to dance with daemons and shed further, much deeper layer of my own Shadow. This time I was taken to Hell. I don’t remember being there before. Not like that. Years ago I was running away from it, since last year I started to Honour it. It has its place. Although it is beyond painful, you are taken all the way to the edge, where you think you can no longer take any of it. And you might not. Many people exit at this point. If you can persist and hold to your dear Spirit, coz all else in you is false, you will get initiated Spiritually and really starting to get to know who you are beyond this world’s superficialities. You will get to know your energies within that will slowly get activated. Maybe your true Spirit energy is of a Shaman. Or you are meant to be a Healer. Lifetimes of wisdom within that need get activated. Or an Exorcist. The power of your Pure Love gets rid of all the lower energy entities. Or a Medicine (wo)man. Working with plants and herbs for eons is in your Blueprint. Or you are here to bring Ancient songs through for us to remember what was lost.… It is all there within you, all waiting for you to open up to it, acknowledge it, to truly See yourself for the first time. See yourself for who you truly are. Not on the surface. Not 3D roles we play, but real Cosmic identities we all have deeply hidden within. You won’t know about it until initiated, activated, unpacked and shared. To get to know this, you will have to go to the Underworld. The strength of Your Spirit will be tested.
The Deepest call of the Universe is within you. My Beloved, come and get to know yourself. The Sacredness of Life that is within you. True adventure. True Beauty. A lot of Courage is needed to walk this path. It is so worth it. You get to understand yourself on a much deeper level, from perceiving yourself as a small being on this planet Earth, you start to open up to your different energies within that show direction of your Cosmic Multidimensional role you are here to play. You open to higher order of things in this world and the Universe, you open your perceptions to the many beings that are escorting you/us, messages that come from the higher echelons, beings that come during the night telling you it’s time you deal with your anger. Beings that want to mess around with you and your awakening and take you off path, coz they work for the adversary force. They come and sit next to you at your darkest hour, draining your life force. Visitors that come from other places you don’t yet know of. Your perception of what’s happening here becomes much grander. Movies talk about all of this, it is all real. It’s all so real. Spiritual battle. Aliens. Heros. Warriors. The Blueprint is within us. We are the ones we have been looking for. It is US. It is US we need to WAKE UP. One by one. I am here to serve and assist others to unplug and connect to their Source of Life within. To assist You on your Sacred Journey. Do you feel it is time? Is your Spirit calling for your attention? Is it suffering coz it has no room to Express its true colours? Maybe its time to leave the old behind and dive deeper into the Meaning of Life…
I wasn’t tuned into the Sacredness of Life as much until Divine grace came to me and pulled a rug from underneath my feet. It still sometimes does, so that I don’t get comfortable in my own illusions and places where I still lie to myself. And that’s ok. I am willing to surrender it all to my own awakening to the Divine. I know now well what’s on the other side. And that is worth everything. This world cannot give you the Sacredness of Life you tap into underneath the mental chatter. Profound Beauty. Breathing of all Creation. Mother Gaia inhaling and exhaling in sync with my own breath. We are breathing together. Contraction. Expansion. Connection to All. Inner Joy of Fulfilment, my cup is full and overflowing. If I Die in this state, I Die with a Joyful smile on my face and deepest Compassion in my Heart.
I KNOW You now.
I KNOW YOU.
My own healing continues. Integration continues. There is more to embrace within to fully step into who I came here to be. While it is also time for me to stop hiding, get my Voice back and Share my deeper insights with you. It was calling me for a while. I was so afraid…
The Sacred Journey…….To the Sacredness of Life within You.