‘HELP’ AND CODEPENDENCY

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‘HELP’ AND CODEPENDENCY

Many, if not the majority of people in this society are not plugged into their source of energy within, while rather being plugged into other people’s energy fields. As all is energy and we are far from being solid as quantum physics is teaching us and whoever did Vipassana meditation longer retreats where you meditated for 11 hours every day, you will know that we are indeed energy, pure vibration. You had the courage to dive deep into your awareness and subtleties of your body and had an experience that all is vibing and maybe had also the profoundly shocking experience of getting to know that you are not your body and deep revelation of the impermanence of life. You are just the sentient observant of it, consciousness behind it all. 

All is energy. Relationships are energy games. We all consciously or unconsciously crave for energy, especially for the light codes. The closer to Divine, the closer to our home, the better. That is why people with a big spirit and light potential many times have leeches in a form of ‘friends’ in their lives until they recognise that boundaries must be inserted to protect one’s energy. 

Codependency is one of these energy games due to disconnection from your own source of life and due to believing we are not enough, so our consciousness goes to ‘greener pastures’. We deny ourselves, our truth, our true energy and escape to another person’s for approval, love, acknowledgment…. hurting ourselves cycle after cycle, due to not knowing that our Beloved is right where we are and that Life is teaching us through pain and suffering and escaping elsewhere, to find home and all the love and safety within us, within our bodies. Yes, although it is energetical and vibrational. 

There is something I really get to understand recently due to codependency and its roots. A big part of the problem is when we introduce help. As children, the majority of us were not considered and perceived as powerful and able beings. Definitely not as spiritual beings with many lifetimes and experiences behind us. Surely we depend for quite some time on our caregivers to survive, while what happens due to parental programming is, that they take our power away slowly but surely, underneath the pretence of help. With every situation where we are not encouraged to be strong, self-reliant, try even first if we can do something rather than parents spoiling us, doing things for us, correcting us due to not doing something in the way it was supposed to be done (read: as they were learnt to do it), we are being chipped part of our ability away. And together with that (besides other trauma) we learn that we are not able, that we can’t do things right…that there is the right way and we are not mastering it, therefore we need external help…. it’s a nasty habit we are being taught. 

Then you grow up, deep down feeling you are not good enough and not able and you attract as many ‘helpers’ in your life as you want. Coz Life is teaching you a lesson. So you meet friends and you go from partner to partner, they all want to help, they see you as weak, their own programming offers conditional help, help with an agenda. Coz you feel you are inadequate, you accept help, why not, they also teach us we need to be able to ask for one when needed. So you go into a relationship coz the man wants to help you. You didn’t ask for help, while you accepted the offer, while as you know, you are not able and always needed help. It started with parents, they by the end of the day know what they are doing. So you are in a relationship and the entry point was so-called help. It feels good for a while, then problems start due to the other party wanting something back, that help was not for free, it came with an agenda, you need to be a certain way for that individual, so your trap starts to reveal itself. The expectation of the other, the trap makes you feel even more weaker, you cannot be yourself, so you please and behave in a way that keeps peace and doesn’t stir feathers in your relationships, while you deny yourself on a daily. You entrapped yourself basically coz on some level you believe that you need that person to ‘help’ you as you are so weak and incapable to stand on your own two feet. Within this cycle you become even weaker, lying to yourself, being suppressed even further, now being a slave to another, due to the same belief, that you need them in your life, coz you cannot survive on your own. You need ‘help’!!



While at the same time you don’t recognise people coming into your life, that truly need your help due to your energy/light, your spirit potential, your level of consciousness, your healing abilities they sense from afar, while you still don’t believe you are good enough, able or have anything to offer anyway. So they keep on stealing your energy, your light, or better, you are giving it all away due to not knowing who you are. Keeping yourself in suppression together with other people that you call friends are in your life, while completely denying your ability and power. You’ve been programmed, you’ve been trained not to believe in yourself. And everybody around you is exploiting this. It happens so naturally, coz all is energy movement and attraction, and Life is teaching you a lesson. You go through life and see other people’s strength and ability and divinity, thinking it is them…while it is your own reflection that you see. 

People offering help to you are actually people that want to be in your life due to your abilities, while they will not disclose this to you. They want to bathe in your energy, they want some of your light. They won’t tell you that coz it’s on you to recognise this within you. So you go another cycle with another. Suppression, clinging, begging for love, for help….you feel so weak inside after all. 

I find ‘help’ from others that we accepted being the biggest part of codependency. We keep on perpetuating a story of we can’t, we are not able, we are weak, we need to depend on someone all the time….and I say fuck that shit! You are able and powerful and can do magnificent things!!! You just forgot!! You just didn’t challenge yourself due to programming!! So stop giving your power, your energy away, coz you think you’re not enough and you’re not capable. Surrender and acknowledge your inner power. It is all there!! I know you can feel it. Stop denying it, stop lowering yourself down for others. See your Beauty and Magnificence!

Dear beautiful Soul, you accepting ‘help’ from others is what is making and keeping you weak. It wasn’t you asking for it, this ‘help’ came to you from the outside and you went along, coz you like to be nice and you like to please. This ‘help’ had an agenda, not to empower you, but to take the power from you. You are going to struggle until you get to understand you can help yourself, help yourself with healing, ascension, creativity, with your vision, where do you want to go in Life. Take full responsibility for your life and be the one that helps him/herself in the first place. Sovereign state. Yes, you ask for help when you need it, while don’t accept it just because there are people that feel they want to help you, even though you might not need it and didn’t ask for it in the first place. Coz it is taking your ability and power away. 

You are going to repeat the cycle until you can finally see the truth. The power was always within you. Challenge yourself and start doing things you thought you can’t. Stop allowing other people to do things for you. You know exactly where you give your power/life away. You know exactly where your energy is leaking. Take it all back. 

NOBODY IS GOING TO SAVE YOU. YOU ARE HERE TO SAVE YOURSELF. 

STEPS TO GET YOURSELF BACK:
#1: Don’t accept help from others when they come to you and saying they want to help you as it comes with agenda and selfishness. You CAN do things for yourself when you truly trust yourself and you are in your flow. If you need help, YOU will ask for it. You will have clarity of what you actually need rather than going along with other people’s agenda (that find your energy very good, healing, peaceful,…and want to be near you underneath the pretence of ‘help’). It is diminishing your abilities and power. They are addressing you as you are weak and you are buying into it. Stop it. Give yourself a break from advice and help from everyone. You have your inner guide right there. Listen. 



#2: Let go of ‘helpers’ with agenda. You don’t need such help that is disempowering you. Yes, you will feel the VOID. And Loneliness too and that’s ok. It’s time to learn what you can do for yourself. Let’s get disciplined and focused on what really matters in your life, start doing things for yourself, that will help you to move forward in your life. Go and do things you never thought you can. Take a challenge. And then another one. You’ll start to feel your ability again and your power to be there for yourself, fully responsible and in charge of your life. Yes, you need help with this and that, ask for it, receive it and move on. You are free of ‘helpers’ now and now you are learning to help yourself, be there for yourself and trust and believe in yourself. 

#3: After the last part, after sitting in the void, comes the fear of fully stepping into your power. Fear of stepping out, being seen vulnerable and powerful, stick out of the crowd coz now you don’t try to please others anymore, you don’t depend on others due to believing you are weak, you depend on yourself now, you depend on your own being and inner guidance. Fear kicks in of really showing yourself for who you truly are. A leader, a powerful woman/man, the opposite what you came to believe all your life. How can I do it? I’m telling you, just do it!! Go into that fear and expose yourself reveal yourself, be naked in front of others, share your truth, get your voice back, step into your sovereign existence and show your magnificence to yourself and the world. We were all waiting for it, Life was waiting for you to climb out of your little prison and have the courage to come out of your shell. Dare to be seen, dare to be powerful. Is it easy? No. It feels frightening. DO IT ANYWAY, lean into it. Day by day. Dare to be seen, to stick out. This is the only way for you to be true to yourself, to the world, to God. 

Honour your Beauty, honour your Divinity. The whole Creation is yearning for it and waiting for you to reveal yourself. <3



~ Eva Tashi ~

“I appeal from your customs. I must be myself. I cannot break myself any longer for you, or you. If you can love me for what I am, we shall be happier. If you cannot, I will still seek to deserve that you should. I must be myself. I will not hide my tastes or aversions. I will so trust that what is deep is holy, that I will do strongly before the sun and moon whatever inly rejoices me and the heart appoints. If you are noble, I will love you; if you are not, I will not hurt you and myself by hypocritical attentions. If you are true, but not in the same truth with me, cleave to your companions; I will seek my own. I do this not selfishly but humbly and truly. It is alike your interest, and mine, and all men’s, however long we have dwelt in lies, to live in truth. Does this sound harsh to-day? You will soon love what is dictated by your nature as well as mine, and if we follow the truth it will bring us out safe at last.—But so may you give these friends pain. Yes, but I cannot sell my liberty and my power, to save their sensibility. Besides, all persons have their moments of reason, when they look out into the region of absolute truth; then will they justify me and do the same thing. ” 

~ From ‘Self-reliance and Other Essays’ by Ralph Waldo Emerson ~

By |2019-10-16T20:42:59+01:00October 16th, 2019|Categories: Empowerment, Inner work/Healing, Self-Love|0 Comments

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